"My husband caught me saving money," says a 33-year-old Indian expat woman, who didn't want to be named. The spouse took offence that his wife was saving a few dollars to be sent to her parents some day. This, despite the fact that they had a joint account and she could withdraw money anytime.
Yes, money matters. From Kanthabai who scrubs and swabs to Kanthi Rao a homemaker, there is one portion of their earnings that they don't want to disclose to their respective spouses. Had there been some kind of understanding between the two, this need not have been the case.
We may not like to admit it but money does play a vital role in a relationship. "My husband scowls every time I buy gifts for my niece and nephew or anyone on my side of the family, as it is his money," says 33-year-old Deeksha, a homemaker. "So, I start hoarding gifts clandestinely whenever a sale was on," she says.
Post marriage, many women continue to feel responsible towards their parents. They want to help them financially, but they find the husband being most uncooperative.
All the more when there is a "son" to take care of the wife's parents.
"I have seen my mom secretly hand money to her mother, every time she met her.
It was such a secret mission that she had to not only hide this act from my dad but also from her own father," discloses 45-year old Keerthi.
"For," she continues, "if this mission ever came out in the open, my mother could be sure that her monthly allowances would be closely monitored by my father. Not only that, my grandfather would stop giving any money to grandmother for he knew she had a steady flow of income, thanks to her daughter."
It is a pity that economic freedom is something that even a working woman doesn't enjoy, at all times. A marriage is a union where both should enjoy their freedom. Working or homemaking, the fate of a woman is more or less the same. In both cases the control exists. The degree varies.
"I think transparency in a relationship has better returns than doing something without your partner's knowledge, for marriage is also an investment one makes for a life time," says 31-year-old Anjana, who works as a marketing executive in a firm.
"How would you feel if your husband were to ask you to give away a fixed amount from your earnings to his parents on a monthly basis," she wants to know.
"I feel a woman should earn if she wants to give money to her parents and the husband shouldn't question it and vice versa. And when not earning, discuss the same with your husband, reach a consensus on the amount you would like to help your parents with on a monthly basis," says 32-year-old Juliana.
Fair enough. After all a loving and understanding husband will also love the people his wife loves and cares about.
Yes, money matters. From Kanthabai who scrubs and swabs to Kanthi Rao a homemaker, there is one portion of their earnings that they don't want to disclose to their respective spouses. Had there been some kind of understanding between the two, this need not have been the case.
We may not like to admit it but money does play a vital role in a relationship. "My husband scowls every time I buy gifts for my niece and nephew or anyone on my side of the family, as it is his money," says 33-year-old Deeksha, a homemaker. "So, I start hoarding gifts clandestinely whenever a sale was on," she says.
Post marriage, many women continue to feel responsible towards their parents. They want to help them financially, but they find the husband being most uncooperative.
All the more when there is a "son" to take care of the wife's parents.
"I have seen my mom secretly hand money to her mother, every time she met her.
It was such a secret mission that she had to not only hide this act from my dad but also from her own father," discloses 45-year old Keerthi.
"For," she continues, "if this mission ever came out in the open, my mother could be sure that her monthly allowances would be closely monitored by my father. Not only that, my grandfather would stop giving any money to grandmother for he knew she had a steady flow of income, thanks to her daughter."
It is a pity that economic freedom is something that even a working woman doesn't enjoy, at all times. A marriage is a union where both should enjoy their freedom. Working or homemaking, the fate of a woman is more or less the same. In both cases the control exists. The degree varies.
"I think transparency in a relationship has better returns than doing something without your partner's knowledge, for marriage is also an investment one makes for a life time," says 31-year-old Anjana, who works as a marketing executive in a firm.
"How would you feel if your husband were to ask you to give away a fixed amount from your earnings to his parents on a monthly basis," she wants to know.
"I feel a woman should earn if she wants to give money to her parents and the husband shouldn't question it and vice versa. And when not earning, discuss the same with your husband, reach a consensus on the amount you would like to help your parents with on a monthly basis," says 32-year-old Juliana.
Fair enough. After all a loving and understanding husband will also love the people his wife loves and cares about.